Gnome-Gate Sickens Me to the Core

Did it really slip beyond our naive grasp of the obvious that some people just do not like to play fair in any thing, especially for FREE things. That there is a small segment of our population, no matter where they live whose souls have darkened to eternally have that evil,mean and nasty streak forever coursing through their veins.

Were you really surprised that adults formed stakeout patrols and possibly dressed in full camo regalia including face paint just to be the first to selfishly hoist a FREE giveaway skyward before it’s contest even began? Sure some of the hidden items did have vouchers, signatures and even chances for tickets attached to them, but to hoard a bunch and stuff them into your rotting 1965 Pinto? Really?

All for the chance to embrace, caress and ultimately commandeer one of 1,400 Bernie Brewer lawn ornaments put put earlier this morning throughout this baseball crazy Wisconsin region. There has to be more of a realistic reason for the covert chaos. Could it really have been so insane that some conjured us such greed of wanting their own “Bernie” before it was time.

Does it make any real sane reasoning to go out in the darkness, whisk off a defenseless garden gnome to have and to hold forever, possibly adorned with Ryan Braun’s signature. Maybe those religious group were wrong. Seems like a small fraction of a rapture happen this morning as 1,400 “Bernie’s” seem to vanish before the dawn.

And this same scenario can play out anywhere in this country today, not just the city of “Laverne and Shirley” fame. This kind of callous pre-dawn commando raid mentality gives a permanent black eye to other MLB teams watching in the distance wanting to see success so they could implement such cunning events in their cities. But that kind of promotion can pretty much be squashed thanks to a small crusade of conniving culprits.

Thank goodness the MLB All Star game Mickey Mouse statues that graced the SoCal region were almost impossible to pilfer thanks to their huge size and weight, or they might have adorned a few backyard pools,fountains or even boardroom themselves before Major League Baseball party in Anaheim, California last season. But Bernie was easier to hide.

Stuck in a car trunks, hidden in large boxes or garbage bag and maybe even hidden within the confines of a refuse container for future apprehension after the chaos subsided. “Gnome-gate” as it has been billed is in full bloom in all it’s rage and disturbing pathos.

Hopefully some took Bernie home to their family with little ones hugging Bernie “Good Morning” before they headed off to school. I know some ended up in the right palms, with the honest of intentions, but other have come with a price on their heads.

Ebay is awash with Bernie, some commanding upwards of $ 200 already where they can be purchased in the Brewers’ Team Store for $ 48. No certificate of authenticity was wrapped on Bernie’s body, no reason to think a $48 dollar model is now being portrayed as stolen Brewers’ booty.

You want to blame the fact that cheese is considered an essential food group in Milwaukee or possibly use illogical thoughts like blaming the waifing smell of fermenting beer swallowing up the masses. For some reason I do not want to fathom the honest truth here that some among us simply get a kick out of skirting the lines of honestly and integrity like a ball down the foul lines.

Humanity could have showed its competitive and honest self today, but tri-faced myriad of greed,contempt and fraud reared its ugly head from a long night’s nap. I truly hope no children were witness to adults doing bad things this morning. That somehow humanity at least sheltered her next generation who still believe in dreams, wishes and being honest. I believe in my soul most got their “Bernies” in the right frame of time (like the guy in the photo), and did not skirt their moral codes condemning them to be a stone cold as the statues themselves this a.m.

Saddens me a bit that it had to go down like this. That a darkened Lincoln Park within the community of Milwaukee was outrageously ravaged and scorched by a swarm of human locust hellbent on being the first to embrace the gnome figurine themselves.

Shame on you early morning dishonest thieves, shame on you people who have accosted Sir Bernie and are holding him for a financial payday. I got to go take a shower to wash off this filth that has gathered on me as I wrote this post. Maybe I will drive downtown, buy a homeless guy a burger or two, do something nice in reverse karma to the madness thrust on poor Milwaukee and all the “Bernie’s” today. Maybe I will do it for the rest of the week…… WWBD? (What Would Bernie Do)


Oh yeah, I agree with you. Now, I have a small collection of Cubs memorabillia that adorns our basement and yeah, it could get fanatacal at some point, but you know if I ever make it to Wrigley and manage to get that piece of history, I would much rather pass a foul ball off to a kid or our son rather then mark it up on ebay. The enjoyment of the game far outweighs any financial gain.
—Mark Gauthier

I am just upset with the premise that people wanted these statues so much they hoarded and stole them before it was even time for the hunting to begin. The idea of staking out Brewers personnel with intent to grab the figurines before the ” official” time is like jumping offsides, leaving the blocks to early in a track meet, or starting to walk to first before the umpire signals ” ball four”….Inappropriate behavior by so-called adults.

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